15 years!

15 years ago I said "I do" to the love of my life.  Oh.my.goodness. Look at those babies!  We were actually 25, so not exactly babies, but still.  So young!

Who knew that saying yes to a blind date would be one of the single most important decisions we ever made?!  God knew.  #prayerworks

While we've certainly had our ups and downs, there are a few constants that have helped us weather the trials.  Please understand that I am no marital expert--these have just worked for us.

1.  Praying together.  I know you've heard the old adage "the family that prays together stays together", but I 100% believe it is true.  Both J and I firmly believe in praying out loud together during the good times, the bad ones and everything in between.  Again #prayerworks

2.  Going to bed at the same time.  Now this one might sound kind of obvious, but for us, sticking to a (relatively) constant bedtime and turning out the light together is really important to us.  We get into bed and then spend 15-20 minutes catching up and connecting.  I wish there was time during the day, but all too often we're spinning around and are just having more "bullet-point" types of conversations. Bedtime is our time.

3.  No electronics in the bedroom.  And I mean none--TV, laptop, i-phones, etc.  Blue light is bad news for sleep and mindless viewing/surfing is bad news for a marriage.  Again, refer to #2.

4.  Kiss each other the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night.  Do you ever feel like you hit the ground running or that you fall into bed exhausted?  I certainly do!  That physical connection helps to re-ground us and remind us we're connected to each other--on the same team, so to speak.

5.  Keeping balance.  God first, spouse second, children third.  This is one that I know we need to be more conscious of--it is so easy for things to get topsy-turvey and all out of whack!  I feel that one of my most important goals as a mother, however, is for my girls to see J and I relying on God in a real-life, nitty-gritty kind of way so that it is meaningful and applicable to our/their lives.  I also think it is so important to model a healthy marriage--one where the mom and dad focus on their relationship so that it is a strong foundation for the family.  The best way to do this?  See #1.  The other reason this is so hard (in my opinion)?  It totally flies in the face of what the culture pushes.  Hello helicopter parenting.  Sigh.  Hello to me sometimes getting sucked up into that vortex--marriage/parenting...it ain't easy!

So there you have it.  5 tips that will help your marriage get stronger and will keep you and your mate connected.